tollipop

handmade valentine tutorial

Ok, after this I will stop talking about Valentine's Day, because too much talk about love gets revolting.  Even I get revolted.

But I still believe in it.

I just wanted to say one tradition I have is to make a small and simple token for my girls to wear throughout the day as a reminder of my love for them.  And when I say small and simple, I mean it.  I don't try to outdo myself from year to year.  Next Valentine's I will probably just cover them in heart stickers.  

This year I was feeling a bit bleak from all the boxes in the house, so when I saw these electrifying pink pom poms at a local craft store, I bought them on impulse.  And since that flew in the face of my recently renewed determination not to accumulate so much stuff, I determined to use them for my annual tradition.

Here's what I did:

1. Wrap a length of sewing elastic around the ring-wearing area of your finger so it feels comfortable, and cut the length just a bit longer than that.

2. Thinly coat the entire outer side of the elastic in craft glue (there's probably a better glue, but I just used what was handy) and cover it with pink glitter.  Yay!  It's only step 2 and already you are ridiculously happy.

3.  Let the glue dry...for like, at least 20-30 minutes.  Otherwise the glitter will cake off on your fingers when you touch it.  

4.  Plug in your glue gun.  Warning: this project is not optimal for those with an aversion to burning flesh.  Place a bead of heated glue on one end of the glitter sided elastic.  Attach the other end on top of the glue.  Press together, gritting teeth against the inevitable sensation of molten lava which will ensue.  

5.  Break emergency swear vial if necessary, but so much cooler to pretend like it didn't hurt.

6.  Take one, two, or three pom poms.  Really, you could use as many as you want, especially if you stacked them.  Using the glue gun, I attached mine together first. Then I placed glue on the base of the pom poms and stuck them on my ring...while I was wearing it, no less (cue understudy emergency swear vial or, if you're like me, save it for something really good, like your kid getting stung by a scorpion or those endless holiday lines at the post office).  

7.  Note: for a tidier look, affix the pom poms over the place where you attached the elastic band ends together.

8.  Voila!  Super cute, sparkly, fuzzy, pink rings--custom sized and expandable for all the darling little girls in your life (I made one for myself and my mother-in-law as well and we were equally delighted).

My daughters go out the door at separate times for school, so on Valentine's morning I packed them a special lunch and spent a few minutes with each one--giving her the ring, enjoying her delight, and painting her fingernails sparkly pink.  

A practically perfect start to the day.

how to make dinner when it's late, everyone is starving, and you don't feel like cooking

 
1.  Come home from music lessons or whatever else has been keeping you out all evening.  Listen to your children say for the millionth time: What's for dinner? I'm starving!

2.  Consider saying ice cream.  But don't say it.  That sets a dangerous precedent.

3.  Hope against hope, as you walk through the door, that a magical nanny has come down the chimney during your absence and tidied the house, fixed your printer, and made a stout, hearty stew bubbling on the stovetop.

4.  Did that happen?  No.  So now you will have to figure something out all by yourself.

5.  First things first.  Turn up the music.  Loud.  And don't go for the logic of Bach, the pretty manners of Mozart.  Go for something that will shake the rafters.  Go for something that will make your heart pound.  Go for something that will make you forget it is late, people are starving, and you have yet to make dinner. 

6.  Light candles.  Which may seem like a contradiction to step 5, but light them anyway.  Candlelight always makes the quotidien seem fraught with possibility. 

7.  Decide upon crêpes.  Why crêpes?  Because you probably have milk, eggs, flour and butter on hand.  Plus your kids will think you're the best mum ever--gratification which may not seem evident on a regular basis and which is therefore not to be taken lightly.   

 
8.  Do you need a recipe to make crêpes?  That depends on your personality.  My main objective, as I see it, is to ensure the blender is filled to a certain level with negligible quantities of milk, eggs, flour, butter, and a pinch of salt.  Beyond that, I wash my hands. 

9.  Besides, I'm too busy dancing.  I'm too busy spinning and twirling and leaping around the kitchen to pay attention to the fact I'm making dinner, darling.  Why, if I gave that too much thought, I'd probably climb down from my chandelier, curl up in a corner, and go right to sleep. 

head scarf tutorial (warning: it's not too late to run away)

Dear reader, I'm going to give myself such a headache trying to explain how I made these head scarves.  But that's nothing compared to the headache you're going to get if you try to make one yourself. 

So let's all be forewarned.

And may I also say...venturing into the sewing room with me is basically like venturing into my kitchen, only more dangerous.  From the outset, you must subscribe to mediocrity.  You must make your peace with failure.  You must abandon the notion there is order and harmony in the universe, because there isn't.  Not in my kitchen, at least, and certainly not in my sewing room. 

Are you still with me?  Are you still game?  Are you ready to embark on an adventure that will make those maniacs in flying squirrel suits look like grannies knitting in their rockers? 

Good.  Then let's learn how to make head scarves. 

 
1.  Already, a wrinkle: the delicate two-step of measurement.  My suggestion is to use a measuring tape and wrap it (like a scarf) around the head of your future head scarf recipient.  For example, if that person's head measures 22 inches around, then cut a 15x7 inch piece of fabric for the scarf, and an 11x4 inch piece of fabric for the band. 

15+11=26 which, once you factor in seam allowances, will yield a scarf that is about 22.5 inches around, making a nice fit for that sweet little 22 inch head.

In other words, whatever the head measures, your fabric pieces should total 4 more inches than that, with the scarf piece being slightly longer than the band piece.

You see what I mean about headaches? 

Basically, dear reader, you have to figure out the measurements yourself.  And that is the one dynamic of this process which is easiest to mangle...so perhaps you should quit right now, strap on a squirrel suit, and join those bores who jump off cliffs.

 
2.  For the scarf (15x7-ish piece): fold fabric over 1/2 inch on each lengthwise side (I fold over twice because raw edges make my face twitch), creating a nice, finished look.  Iron the fold into a nice, sharp crease.

Next, sew a seam along those folds.

3.  For the band (11x4-ish piece): fold fabric over 1/2 inch on the top and bottom, then fold the entire piece in half, lengthwise, right sides together, and iron it with a firm hand.

Next, sew lengthwise down the open side of the band piece (it helps to reinforce the beginning and end of that seam).  Trim the excess fabric.

::::: And now a friendly word about the iron: use the living daylights out of it, dear reader.  If you are, like me, someone who has no business operating a sewing machine, you are already painfully aware of the odds stacked against you.  You already know you stand a better chance of getting hired as a Victoria's Secret model than successfully threading a needle.  Having the iron in your corner is like putting a bra on your sewing project.  You know?  The iron makes you look good.  It makes you look better than you really are.  And there are those of us who simply cannot afford to ignore that kind of lift. :::::

 
4.  Find someone with nimble fingers and a killer manicure to worm the right sides of the band back into daylight, where they belong.

 
5. Iron the band nicely and it should look like this.  Don't you just love how the ends are all tucked in?  Stuff like that gives me such a thrill. 

 
6.  And now for a piece of elastic.  It should be a good 3 inches less than the length of your original band piece.  So if you cut an 11 inch long band, cut a 7 inch long piece of elastic. 

If you plan on making more scarves in the future, you will probably play with this measurement...I haven't yet discovered the perfect ratio myself.

Attach a safety pin to one end of the elastic.

 
7.  Thread the elastic, safety pin end first, into the band.  Work it through until the other (pinless) end of the elastic lines up with bottom opening of the band.

 
8. Now this part is a bit tricky, but still shy of rocket science.  Gather one end of the scarf, folding the raw edge together bit by bit, sort of like a fan. 

Keeping track of your elastic, tuck the folded fan edge into one end of the band. 

Note: Be verrrrry sure your elastic is still there.  It helps to allow a small bit to stick out, as pictured.

 
9.  Sew the living daylights out of this seam.  Really, go back and forth like you're operating a dump truck, not a sewing machine. 

Once again, make sure you've caught the elastic in that seam.  Make sure he didn't sneak off with a bunch of his friends--elastic can be very disloyal that way.  I once knew a piece of elastic who said we'd always be together, and the minute I turned my back he slipped out the door and was halfway to the racetracks before I knew what had happened!

 
10.  Taking care not to twist the elastic, bring the band around and repeat steps 7 and 8 with the other side of the scarf.  You can see I left the safety pin attached to the elastic as a way to ensure there were no last minute flight issues. 

Once you've secured that seam (back and forth, back and forth), remove the entire scarf from the sewing machine.  Trim anything that is sticking out and shouldn't be.

11.  Congratulations!  Oh, happy day!  If you made it this far, you should be in the possession of a fabulous new head scarf!  Isn't it lovely?  Isn't if divine?  Can't you just picture yourself wearing this stylish number and tootling through Martha's Vineyard on a pretty mint green scooter? 

Note: hopefully the head scarf fits, but in case it doesn't, remember: it will make the most darling gift for someone else.  And next time I am sure you will get the measurements exactly right.

I hold no such high hopes for myself, dear reader.  But in you I have the utmost confidence.

how to make homemade playdough

 

1.  In a moment of weakness, promise your children you will make playdough.  Spend the next three hours being hounded out of your mind.  Say things like, "When I said I would make playdough, I didn't mean right this very instant." or, "First I have to call Auntie Marina.", and don't forget, "Nobody's making anything until this kitchen gets cleaned up!"  Over time, you will run out of excuses.  You will feel like the object of a long and relentless foxhunt.  You will find yourself hiding in a corner, panting, listening to your children call out your name.  Now it is time to capitulate.  You must make the playdough. 

2.  Google a recipe from the internet.  It tells you to measure out a cup of flour.  Hah!  As if.  Just imagine how much playdough you want this recipe to yield, and stick that much flour in your pot.

3.  The recipe tells you to add a 1/2 cup of salt for every cup of flour.  Do you own that much salt?  Does the ocean own that much salt?  Actually, I do own that much salt.  For some reason, I have tons of it.  So I pretty much follow that step in the recipe.  But I follow it implicitly.  Not explicitly. 

4.  The recipe now calls for 2 T of cream of tartar.  Do you know what that is?  Do you have any?  A quick check of the cupboard reveals that I do not.  But!  I do discover a white powdered substance in exactly the same little jar reminiscent to that of cream of tartar.  The label tells me it is granulated alum.  Listen.  Only a con artist could tell the difference.  So it will have to do. 

5.  What next?  Water.  Add the same amount of water as you did flour...in math class, this would be called a ratio.  As in, the ratio of water to flour should pretty much be equal. 

6.  Finally, you better grease these wheels!  The recipe calls for 2 T of cooking oil.  I got confused and thought I was making pizza dough, so I added more.  The world kept on turning.   

7.  Stir this all up over a medium heat.  Does it look too dry?  Add more water.  Too swampy?  More flour.  And don't ever become a mathematician. 

8.  Take the playdough off the heat.  Your children will be clamoring all over you like a pack of wolves, so warn them the dough is hot.  They won't listen, the little beggars...try counting to twenty and I guarantee you before that time someone will cry out, "Ouch!  This is hot!" 

9.  Now pay attention, because this is probably the only important thing I have to say about the entire process:  Let your kids color their playdough.  Resist the temptation to tell them red, blue, and yellow make brown.  Let them make brown.  Let them make puce.  Let them tint their dough in hues of liver, henna, and dung.  Why?  Because it makes them happy. 

This is why they wanted you to make playdough in the first place.