Q: How do you help a lion build his self esteem?
A: Tell him what a good lion he is.
Q: How do you teach a lion to spell?
A: "i before e, except after c"
Q: What do you do when a lion loses his library card?
A: You guys, that is so fake. A lion with a library card. As if.
There were others but...I think you get the gist. I don't know if there's a comedy career on the horizon anytime soon, but one of my lion jokes DID make Sophie laugh. She may deny it or tell you it was a pity laugh, but we both know it happened.
In other news, as requested, I am now going to attempt to distill my chocolate chip cookie recipe. It is closely inspired by the King Arthur version but if you know anything about me and recipes, it's that I struggle with concepts like...recipes.
Here we go...
Preheat your oven to 350 degrees.
In a bowl mix:
2 sticks of softened butter, plus a little more, like a 1/3 of another stick. I really waver on that last 1/3.
2 cups brown sugar
1 cup white sugar
2 large tsp. baking soda
generous dash of salt (shake it into your hand, dust it into the bowl)
at least 4 tsp. vanilla extract (does anyone really measure that stuff??)
at least 4 tsp. almond extract (this is the magic and I would recommend more...but 4 tsp. is a safe place to begin).
4 cups of flour and here, I regret to inform you, it is better to be exact. Use a real "dry ingredients" measuring cup (something which took me about 40 years to figure out). Don't pack the flour in tight, and do scrape off the top with a butter knife so it's nice and smooth. Once that task is complete, hope the twitch on the side of your face goes away sometime soon.
Add pretty much an entire bag of chocolate chips (this is really a matter of personal taste--go for the ratio you prefer) and mix briefly one last time.
Place the dough in balls on a cookie sheet and bake at 350 for 15 minutes.
NOW. You may have to tinker with these guidelines to allow for the fact you probably don't live next door to me and enjoy the same balmy climate...or that your oven may be more or less aggressive than mine. You may need just the two sticks of butter. You may need only 14 minutes in the oven. The only way you will know for sure is to give this thing a whirl.
That is all part of the joy of baking.
And finally, I have one piece of discouraging news. I hurt my leg recently and it's become apparent I need to take a break from running. It's going to be hard if I take the break, but perhaps worse if I don't.
I may need the girls to make up some more lion jokes for me.