Dear reader, for the past few days I haven't touched my novel. I haven't bickered with a word, haven't brawled with a phrase, and I haven't been socked in the gut or had my wallet pinched by a hooligan run-on sentence.
It's been nice, for a change. Quite peaceful, really.
I started something new this morning...well it's old, actually, but so old perhaps it seems new. Inspired by @augustwren's account on Instagram, I'm going to resurrect my Hundred Dresses Project for the next little while and try making a drawing a day of my girl in blue.
Is it strange to draw the same girl over and over again? Not if you lack the ability to draw anything else. And not if you find it strangely mesmerizing to watch blue paint seep across a page. Then it makes perfect sense!
Of course, I don't think I'll go for an entire year, like @augustwren...my main creative effort these days, beyond raising children, is to write. It feels a bit disingenuous to talk about this novel as if it's materialized when it hasn't attracted even the faintest whiff of interest from the publishing world, but nonetheless I have to see it through...whatever "through" means. I have to polish that manuscript until I can close my eyes, wander through its world, and see everything is beautiful, plain, and clear.
In the meantime, how lovely it is to see color beyond the world I paint with words! How electrifying, to my brain, is that particular shade of blue.
Caroline has been busy this year. She's playing on a volleyball team that competes in California and our extra time together has been a delight. Caroline is a delight. She's growing up, still very sweet, and filled with her own quiet passions for life. She shares many of my interests; I don't know if she comes by them naturally, or if it is more a reflection of wanting my approval. I remember having many "favorites" in common with my dad, simply because I wanted to love the same things he did.
Either way, she is my little bug girl, my little prose girl, my little tattoo artist. She also loves cello and volleyball...perhaps in some small degree because she so deeply admires her older sisters.
But it would be unfair to imply Caroline's interests aren't genuine...she loves these pursuits with a passion that can only come from within. She's a thoughtful, engaged girl who goes through life with an open heart, loving every good thing she sees and absorbing the impact of what saddens.
With everything else, I still find time to escape to the desert.
It's so beautiful at this time of year, humming with an energy that makes my pulse race to be there.
Of all the generosities in life, this must be one of the greatest: to have a moment alone, out in the middle of nowhere where I am free to contemplate and wonder, to alter or move forward in the direction I'm trying to go.