Caroline had a music competition.
She played very well but did not come in first.
I must say she wasn't especially cool with this turn of events. I mean, she was gracious enough in the moment, but when we got back to the car she burst into tears and gestured like we were speaking Italian.
What do I have to do to win this thing?!, she cried.
Naked longing always sort of unsettles me. I don't know why. If I tried to explain, you'd have a Ph.D in psychology plus a raging headache by the time I finished. I just find it hard to allow myself to want most things. Partly it has to do with the way I was raised. Partly it has to do with knowing the bitterness of disappointment. Partly it's just I'm an easygoing person who doesn't spend a lot of time registering naked longings.
My longings stay buttoned up.
So you should have seen me try to answer Caroline's question. At first I assured her she played beautifully (then why didn't I win?!). Next, I stressed the value of the journey over the destination (what are you talking about?! what journey?!). Painfully aware I was not prepped to handle this scenario, I scrambled all over the spectrum of consolation until finally she said, So let me get this straight. If I want to win I'm going to have to practice longer and harder. Is that it?
Yes, basically, I said, shoulders slumped.
Okay. Then that's what I'm going to do, she said.
Note to self: go down to the track and put money on Caroline's next competition.
Dinner with family and friends. Super yum. Super full.
I make these every Sunday morning for the choir which comes to rehearse at my house. Can I persuade you to join us?
Although my artwork could never be described as portrait quality, I'm not kidding--if my friend had a twin it would be this little party girl. Happy Birthday, dear Nisha.
He's even scarier up close.
Et toi, dear reader? How was your weekend?