It's been a busy past few days and a busy few more to come and today, as I was doing errands with my husband, I lamented the fact I wanted to go for a run but couldn't find a free morning or evening to do so.
My husband said: You could always go for one this afternoon.
And I was all: In the middle of the day? In 99 degree heat plus humidity?
He looked into the distance and said: There's a little cloud cover.
I looked. There were, like, two measly clouds.
So I said: Really? You don't think I'll collapse out in the middle of nowhere?
He was all: I think you'll be okay.
And I was all: There's a fine line between a vote of confidence and total lack of concern, you know.
He laughed like I was joking.
Did it turn out to be a good run, after all? That depends. If you're into near death experiences, then yeah, it was awesome. Looking on the bright side, I couldn't tell what hurt the most, so entire miles passed while I tried to decide.
Was it my ankle? Or my hamstring? My knee? Or my hamstring?
I really don't know what to do about my hamstring. Give it more rest? Or should I stretch it out a little before running?
Stretching it before running. That's like telling my hamstring: hey, before I hurt you, I'm just going to hurt you a whole lot more.
The run was okay. I didn't exactly bound around like a gazelle, though at one point I was on all fours. I think my soul made a horcrux while I was out there. I think my Patronus is a wild burro. And I think I shaved ten years off my life expectancy.
But when I returned home, I didn't have the energy to be mean, crabby, or shrill. All I could do was stroke my children's hair and tell them through lips caked with salt how angelic they looked, how well-hydrated. And when I saw their messy rooms I smiled weakly, as if I'd transcended the pain of having asked for those clothes to be put away so many, many times.
And my husband. He looked so vibrant, so full of life I wanted to cry. Who cares how wrong he'd been about the cloud cover? Who cares if a part of my soul is now living under a rock in the desert?
I was just grateful to be reunited.
I was just happy to be alive.